Secret Ritual
by Dark Seraphim
Summary: Every night, Alister does the same thing. Valon Alister shounen ai. One shot.


_Author's Notes: This is just a one-shot between Valon and Alister. It has nothing to do with any of the other fics. This is just Alister doing something that he does every night with Valon(I mean in my own fanfic universe). Angst is unavoidable here. At any rate, enjoy. Oh, and reviews stating that "Valon and/or Alister are not gay" will just be laughed at. I don't know why people bother saying something like that. It's not like anyone will be convinced. Anyway, this fic is relatively short. I hope you like it. _

The ocean sings a lullaby Alister doesn't hear, but he knows its there, shining like blue diamonds under the moonlight. The balcony shutters are always open, allowing the cool winds to blow through the room as Alister sits at the computer, always looking for anything on Seto Kaiba. Every night, he does the same thing, just like the ocean throwing itself against the sandy earth.

He never knows nor cares what time it is when he shuts off the computer, but he always knows when the time is right. Alister is clockwork as he spins around in his swivel chair, crossing one bare leg over the other as he leans on his hand. He is wearing white shorts and a midriff baring tank top, but he barely notices the chill air because he is too intent on watching Valon sleep.

Alister does this every night. When he finishes reading through the gossip on Seto Kaiba, he turns all of his attention to the younger man with wild brown hair. Right now, Valon is on his back, his well-toned arms trying to cover as much of the bed as possible. Alister smiles because he knows that such a ploy never works, but it doesn't stop the Aussie from trying. Even in his sleep, Valon likes to play games that get under Alister's pale skin, but Alister plays games of his own and never intends to lose.

Valon is a packaged deal wrapped in playful sugar and thuggish musk. He is the perfect balance of Alister's desires. A younger brother to look after, a good friend to spend time with, and above all, someone to love in ways Alister never thought he'd be capable of. Valon insists that it's simply a "friendship with benefits", something practically unheard of in Alister's native Bosnia and at best, considered a shaky topic in the Western World. Whatever it is, the term is meaningless to the redhead. Valon is one thing and one thing only to Alister: his and his alone.

The ocean is somehow louder now, but only because Alister finally hears it sing against the cool air. Valon loves the Pacific water and swims in it whenever he gets the chance. Alister seldom swims, but he is always watching and sometimes, he sleeps under the stars with his lover, but only so he could watch the wind pick up Valon's wild, ocean misted hair.

Now the younger man's hair has no wind or water. Instead, it's soaked in fading hairspray and gel as it spreads across the white pillows, partially obscuring his Pacific colored eyes. He looks innocent, like the child that he really is. Valon is fourteen, a fact Alister never forgets even though he is only three years older. It does not seem like much, but in the teenage world, three years is an eternity and Valon is seen as a "baby" by many adult eyes. Alister knows better than to refer to his lover as a "baby", but he never wants to help it. All part of the game the two of them play constantly: drive each other nuts and then fuck each other's brains out.

Only it's not that simple. Alister always asks himself how he could resist those piercing, playful blue eyes and his internal answer is always the same: he simply doesn't want to. He wants Valon to smile, to keep those eyes bright and full of life. He knows that Valon is iron and he can feel his heart swell at the thought of that. He doesn't know much of Valon's past, but he knows that lives have been taken, revenge sought and won, fights in and out of prison, and none of it getting the best of him. Alister would give a testicle to be like that. The past owns him while Valon sees the past as something to be left behind while forging ahead towards the future.

The philosophy sounds familiar, but Alister would rather not think of that. He'd rather think of Valon, whose skin glows under the full moon. The child is ethereal, like a dream. Alister still gets dreams, bad dreams. Dreams of his parents long dead thanks to cruel bullets, dreams of his friends burning in a building. Worst of all, he still dreams of his little brother, Mikey. They start out as simple memories based on the refusal to lose hope, the Dynadude action figure that Mikey played with, the promise of playtime after the war ends. The dreams never stay that way. Alister's own subconscious likes to remind him of his failure, his terrible mistake. The boys were invited into a tank and young Alister thought they'd be safe there. Why not? It beat a very vulnerable refugee camp. He never knew it would be attacked by sudden helicopters and he never knew his own little brother would burn alive.

With that memory playing like it was yesterday, Alister would wake up in a cold sweat. Sometimes he would be screaming and Valon would be right next to him wondering what was happening. Alisted always hated that and he hates it now, but it can't be helped. He wants Valon next to him, but he doesn't want to tell his younger lover much of anything. Too painful-like being stabbed in the heart with a rusted knife. He tells Valon that he would never understand and then tells him that he hopes Valon would never understand what it's like to lose his entire life to bullets and fire. He hopes Valon would never know what it's like to have your life ruined because someone else wanted to make even more money than they have.

Alister looks on the nightstand, at the charred Dynadude figure he always kept near him as a reminder of his brother and of what is to be done for the sake of vengeance. Sometimes he wonders how Valon would have fared in war. He knows his lover is tougher than nails and very ruthless when provoked, but he also knows that all the strength in the world doesn't stop a bullet, or a missle, or a fire caused by flying helicopters. He gasps when a flash of bloodstained Valon appears. The boy is riddled with bullets, his vacant blue eyes reflecting the beautiful Bosnian sky. Alister shakes his head, trying to get that imagine out of his mind, but the damage is done. He realizes that Valon's death is a new addition to his dreams. Tears fall helplessly down his face and he tries to wipe them away, but they keep falling like rain. Alister has no problem with crying, but he would rather not wake Valon.

Those dreams come close to being the worst he could dream of. They could never compare to the loss of his little brother, but Mikey is already dead while Valon is alive, which makes dreams of his death even more frightening. Alister fears that could come true, which is why he is fiercely protective of Valon. He knows it's irritating and he understands it, but he can't stand the idea of the younger boy coming to any harm and Alister does not want his dreams to end up becoming prophetic. Sometimes he tells himself that it's a way to make up for his terrible failure to protect his brother, but he tells that voice to go to hell. Alister has no one but Raphael and Valon and he would sooner die himself before losing them. Just that he's never as protective of Raphael, but he never has to be. Raphael is a grown man. Valon is not. As for Alister, he knows he's not that much older than his younger lover, but he is still older and has been in Doma longer. Whatever the case, he never dreams of Raphael dying.

He continues wiping away his tears. He worries to much, he knows that, but he always wants to make sure that Valon is safe. Alister covers his face with his hand in hopes of expelling the bleeding image that somehow insists on remaining in his mind. He hears the ocean again and this time, he listens to its lullaby. Alister doesn't love the ocean the way Valon and Raphael does, preferring the wind and the heat of fire, but still he listens and his tears fade away. When he finally looks back up, he raises an eyebrow. The younger boy is already up looking at Alister with keen curiosity. Alister sometimes forgets that Valon is a very light sleeper.

"Are you okay, mate? He asks, wiping sleep from his blue eyes.

Alister smiles. Valon is adorable when he's just waking up. He stands up, his bare feet cold against the floor, but he does his best to ignore it as he quietly walks towards the bed. Alister puts his hands on Valon's shoulders, feeling soft, warm skin.

"Yes. Go back to sleep."

--

End


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